


Inside Jokes

by wanderingoverthewords



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, silly fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingoverthewords/pseuds/wanderingoverthewords
Summary: Even relationships between two Gotham Rogues can have their fair share of gags.
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma
Comments: 1
Kudos: 88





	Inside Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> Characters: Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane, Bernie.
> 
> Pairing: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma.
> 
> Warnings: mentions of demon-summoning, sacrificing.
> 
> Notes: Based off a tumblr post; couldn’t get this scene out of my head. Silly, very short Scriddler drabble for y’all; they’re not always snarky planks to each other.
> 
> A WanderVerse fic.
> 
> All material belongs to DC Comics (although, my interpretations of the characters are used).

_When will you be home?  
\- ?_

_Soon._

_Ominous! I like it.  
\- ?_

_Are you prepared to face my arrival?_

_The rituals have been observed, and the sacrifices have been made.  
\- ?_

_This pleases me. I shall appear._

Jonathan hadn’t thought much of their silly, little texting game, other than acknowledging (with an admittedly warm smile) that there wasn’t anyone else he could - or would rather - make such jokes with. It was a disgustingly sentimental notion, however, so he’d shunned it immediately.

No other thought was given to it, so it made it especially surprising when Jonathan entered he and Edward’s home to find the lights off, the living room illuminated only partially by the five candles laid out in a large circle on the floor. In the spaces between the candles were books, and Jonathan hoped they weren’t his own.

In the middle of the circle was Edward, on his knees, with Bernie’s travel-sized cage before him. The little brown mouse had been running on her wheel, making it rattle, but hopped off when she heard Jonathan step in.

From where he stood, Jonathan saw her approach the bars of her cage and watch him. If she could talk, she probably would’ve asked him what the hell was going on.

Jonathan would’ve had no answer for her.

“Straw demon!”

Jonathan looked to Edward, who suddenly came to life, both arms stretched up into the air. In his hands, he clutched a knife, blade pointing downwards towards Bernie’s cage.

“As a final testament to my loyalty to you,” Edward exclaimed dramatically, bowed low, then gestured to Bernie with one hand, “I _sacrifice_ this virgin!”

Taking the knife in both hands again, Edward thrust it downwards, stabbing it into the patch of carpet in between himself and Bernie’s cage.

There was silence between them all for five seconds, during which Jonathan and Edward kept eye contact; Edward was watching him with a deadly serious expression, though Jonathan could detect a hint of hopeful curiosity in his features, and Jonathan was looking at him as deadpanned and as neutral as ever.

Finally, Jonathan’s lips pressed together, his eyebrows raised, and he bobbed his head in a few, satisfied nods. “This pleases me yet again. I shall remain in yer abode, young summoner.”

Edward’s serious expression caved; a squeak escaped him before he contained the laughter that threatened to break out from his throat. He couldn’t, however, force back a grin, no matter how hard he bit his lip.

Jonathan removed his boots before stepping further into their home, lest he ruin the game by having Edward yell at him for tracking dirt. He walked calmly toward Edward, stepped over a book, crouched down and leaned toward his partner.

The desired effect was given; Edward clearly thought he was going to kiss him and tilted his own head up accordingly, eyes shutting and lips pursing…then Jonathan bypassed him and picked up Bernie’s cage by its handle.

Edward - feeling no lips and hearing the metal shake - opened his eyes, confused.

“Don’t touch my mouse,” Jonathan said. Even if he’d wanted to sound incredibly strict (as was the usual way regarding anybody going near Bernie), there was a light fondness to his tone.

As he stood up and stepped out of the circle, heading toward his basement study, Edward finally burst into laughter, catching himself on the floor with one hand as his other was slapped over his mouth.

He called after Jonathan, “Where - Where are you _going?!_ I just _summoned_ you! You can’t just leave your faithful follower without _thanking_ him first!”

Jonathan’s lips turned upwards in a smile, his eyes rolling, then he turned on the spot to return to Edward inside the circle.


End file.
